


virus' birthday party (ft. trip)

by orphan_account



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Big Bang Theory - Freeform, Cakeplay, Hijacking the Airwaves With Pornography Adverts, Implied Penis Worship, M/M, Weapons of Mass Destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-19 06:48:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1459876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it isn't even his birthday and trip's peen is hard. dramatical antics ensue. cornhole</p>
            </blockquote>





	virus' birthday party (ft. trip)

**Author's Note:**

> talk dirty to me
> 
> 4 charlotte and ashley and everybody who's ever talked to jake from state farm

the bugle sounded in midorijima after the sun rose and all the bird allmates crowed like fucking idiots. "wow" trip rose from his bed and stripped out of his boxers. the boxers had little virus heads drawn over them. it was p homo

anyway TRIP'S PECKER WAS HARD!!!!!! he cried and the tears from his face made his dick go soft. good, that would have been embarrassing. you know what trip really loved? cake. cake and portal. the cake wasn't a lie tho because when he shoved it up aobert's ass in that one crazy fever dream it was so sexy that his meat wand cast a spell of whiteness. it was like that movie frozen but with dicks instead of princesses

turripo glitched through the stairs like a playstation 1 video game texture and there was virus! he had his byakuya togami face on. "trip ur weewee is hanging out"

"oh" his peener folded into a paper crane and he put it in his pocket. we will not see it until he gets hard again. which he will that's the whole point of this feckin fanfiction

"someone somewhere is getting off to this" trip informed. virus's togami face softened "NO NONONONO NO NO NO NO NO" HE VIBRATED just like trip's virus-shaped vbrator and he took off like a rocket. "come back soon" trip said and he dressed into his weird 2069 era clothing before going to the food store. 

trip slammed open the automatic doors and nyoomed halfway across the room to the cake counter. yes there was a counter for cake this is now a cake store.

"can i help you" jake from state farm asked. "i need the biggest dildo cake you have" trip wheezed, out of breath. he was being too extreme. his dong rose and started giving off its own wifi signal filled with computer trojans. mink's coil rang and received a message stating he could grow his shlong up to two inches longer in 14 days. mink shattered his coil with his bara balls. noiz received memes and immediately ejaculated at the numerous sexy folds of the troll face's cheeks. wow

"sir i need you to take the bomb out of your pants" jake from state farm yelled and trip looked up at his massive weener. "i'm sorry" trip said, and the atomic missile in trip's pants took off and flew through the ceiling. "i need that for yakuza reasons you know"

"I know!" jake from state farm moaned. "here's your cake sir please have a nice day and be careful with your atom dong"

TRIP WAS READY

as soon as virus crashlanded in their dorm (AN: this is my goddamn fanfiction they can have a dorm omg!!!!!11!!!!) trip pulled his dead body in front of the refrigerator and unfolded the paper crane dick from his pocket, straddling his face and singing amazing grace as slow as humanly possible. a hoard of bagpipes surrounded the house and virus awoke. "do you have my hot and hard" trip asked, frowning as virus blew him. no he literally played the skin flute. he beatboxed a wicked solo for that song and trip was amazed he really was

"HAPPY BORTHDAY" trip whispered and unveiled THE CAKE

"OH YM GOD TRIP YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO ......" 

"anything for you, mr. glasses yakuza" trip grabbed a handful of the cake in his hand, squeezing it like he would squeeze a bottle of mustard. squeeze that mustard trip boy squeeze it

the dicksquad gang arrived after twenty minutes and watched with awe as trip stuffed handful after handful of cake into virus' bootyhole.

"this is like that one thing i saw on animal planet" cowjack laughed. "Excuse U Koujaku But That Is Completely Illogical And Impossible You Don't Even Own Cable You're A Fucking Hairdresser I Hate This Game I Hate My Life" mink replied harshly in his minky voice, making a small earthquake. beni cried and shit on mink's head. he was hanging out with the hot dad because him and tori are a thing idk why

"I NEED MAXIMUM PENETRATION DRUG TRIP" virus yelled and trip was almost out of cake. he had to disguise it, his small paper dick needed to be masked as cake...virus must never know. he smeared icing over it and thrusted into virus' cake-infested hole. "KAMEHAMEHA" THEY YELLED IN UNISON AND SHATTERED CLEAR'S EARDRUMS. it's oka he's a robot toue will fix him and then suck his donger because he made it huge because #YOLO

the saxophone solo from talk dirty to me played on repeat and ren played the sax in dog phone. NEVER STOP SMALL DOG. yiff yiff

for ten thousand years ren played the sax in harmony and virus became the size of a small moon because of all the cake shoved up his bunghole. trip still continued to cornhole him through space time continuum and before they knew it that blue box thingy from that one british tv show showed up. DOO WEE WOO i don't know how this goes i never watched the dupter hoo? koujaku got angry and killed the dr.

sei watched from the safety of the SS Titanic and held hands with his own loneliness. "sweet dreams are made of memes"

the intensity of the situation eventually became so inflated that the heat of cowjacku's dick burned a hole in the fabric of the universe and the kool aid man flew in at maximum velocity. scientists were baffled. "OH YEAH" he belted out his warrior cry and slammed into virus' belly bunton causing the big bang. everyone died

bazigna

aoba walks in. he is the only normal one. 

 

 

The End.


End file.
